Not So Wicked
by Alliecat279
Summary: The Life and Times of the Wicked Surgeon of the West.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm writing this because I still feel anger towards ABC for kicking Brooke Smith to the curb. She was my favorite character, for real. Just because she didn't sleep with everyone in the hospital and freakin' had a backbone, she didn't have 'chemistry' on the show. Whatever. **

**I don't own anything.**

**Prologue **

Doctor Erica Elizabeth Hahn had a very unlikely hero. In fact, her hero wasn't a hero at all, but one of the most well known villains in the world. Erica Elizabeth Hahn looked up to and admired the Wicked Witch of the West. People would say that it suited her personality, that she herself was considered 'wicked' in the world of Seattle Grace. And she rolled with it. One of the benefits of being considered evil was that people did what you said in order to avoid your impending wrath.

The first time that she had seen Wizard of Oz, she was 26 years old. She didn't even want to see it, in truth she was just tired of being nagged about never seeing it. So she borrowed the movie from a friend, popped it in her VCR player and settled back to watch it with the intentions of hating it. The first half hour was dreadful on her. Judy Garland was very pretty, no denying that, but she never really like prissy girls who skipped around singing. The munchkins were amusing (she especially enjoyed the Lollipop Guild) and the 'Good Witch' was okay, but it wasn't until there was a dreadful popping noise followed by little screams did she start to fully enjoy the movie.

The movie was long, filled with interesting characters that danced in funny ways, but it was only the times when the Witch made her appearances did Erica enjoy watching the overly colorful film. Nobody messed with the Wicked Witch of the West. And when the wonderfully green woman finally met her demise to a bucket of water, Erica felt strangely sad. She never got emotional about movies, yet here she was wishing that she hadn't made it to the end, so that the Witch could still be living in her head.

So when the announcement that a book was made in honor of the Wicked Witch's life, Erica jumped to grab herself a copy. She read the entire book in two days, and utterly hated it. How could her strong, confident witch of a hero be like that? So utterly… un-wicked witch like. She even watched the play, hoping that it was different. And it was, but she didn't like that one either. Erica wished that they had just left it where it was, leaving the Wicked Witch as nothing more than that. Wicked. She had even decided to write a heart-filled letter to the author on her opinions on the story and why she hated it. But right as she was about to mail it, she got called away from her house. When she got back, her dog had chewed up the ten page essay and left it a slobbery mess on the ground. She thought about re-writing it, but then later decided just to stick the dog germed pile in an envelope with a piece of not-chewed paper reading simply 'This is what I think of your book, Wicked.' And mailed it off. She never got a reply.

It was because of her idolization of the Wicked Witch that in times of hardship for the heart surgeon, Erica would pop in her newly re-mastered D.V.D copy of The Wizard of Oz. She'd then curl up on her couch with a blanket pulled over her head and the lights completely out. Popcorn wasn't needed, in fact, she found it to be nasty and she never bothered with any other treats or snacks. They weren't needed to make this great movie any better.

So there she was, her old baby blue blanket wrapped snuggly around her, the hood she made with it dropping slightly in her eyes as she waited for her favorite part to come. She needed to see the Wicked Witch appear, to claim that she will have her way, and to disappear in smoke while everyone remained cowering. Because she was the one doing the cowering at the moment, when she should be confident. She had yelled at Callie, told her off good. She had it coming, really she did, yanking Erica's emotions like they were some toy she had just bought. And Erica let her. She let Callie get away with it because she truly felt something for the younger doctor. When Callie had told her that she had slept with Mark (twice), it was a kick in the gut. When she fled when Erica bared her soul about her seeing leaves, it was a slap in the face. And siding with Izzie Stevens of all people instead of her was a full blown shank to the heart.

And no matter how great of a Heart Surgeon she was, Erica Elizabeth Hahn couldn't operate on her own heart.

The movie played on and Erica wished that she was the Wicked Witch. That she could hop on her broom that was tucked safely in the closet and jump out her window with out the fear of falling. That she could fly away from this, away from everything that plagued her and hurt her. She even wished she was green, so people would have a reason to try and be nice to her, even if it was only to be polite.

The door bell rang, and Erica sighed. Pulling her blanket even tighter around herself, she tried to ignore it as it rang again. A moment passed in silence before ringing became angry knocking. Groaning in displeasure, Erica hoisted herself to her feet, keeping her blanket wrapped snug around her frame. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" She called out, annoyed as the banging continued. Not bothering to look at who it was, Erica threw open the door with an angry "What?!"

Her glare died as it met with teary chocolate brown eyes. Callie stood in her doorway, her hair disheveled and her clothes wrinkly, staring up at the icy heart surgeon with big, puffy, tear filled eyes. Callie opened her mouth to say something, but closed it quickly, before re-opening it to try again. "Erica…" She managed, her voice cracked from crying. She couldn't get anything else out as she toppled forward into the surprised doctor. That's when Erica smelled the strong hints of alcohol on the younger woman.

Dragging the now unconscious woman into her house, Erica wondered what the odds were if she grabbed her broom, straddled it and took a running jump out the open window that she'd make it to the other building safely.

**Please Review!**


	2. Speak to meBreathe

**I'd like to thank all my reviewers! You guys are awesome! **

**These chapters are going to be titled after the tracks on the Pink Floyd album "Dark-side of the Moon." I'm not sure how good this is, considering I wrote it at 3 in the morning on my IpodTouch's notes.**

**I own nothing.**

Speak to me/Breathe

The moral that Erica Elizabeth Hahn got out of the Wizard of Oz was that sometimes the things you wish for most you already had with you. Dorthy had her way home. The Scarecrow his brains, TinMan his heart, and the Lion was couragous after all. It was a sappy ending and Erica ate it up. After all, she could use a happy ending every now and then.

Now being one of those times. Erica Hahn was left standing in her livingroom staring down at a peacefully sleeping Callie with no magic shoes to click together. She was trapped in a tornado of silence, the flickering screen of the muted movie being the only thing keeping her sane. What was Callie doing here? Drunk out of her mind, at that.

Erica was tempted to wake her up to find out. A swift slap to the face would do it. Or maybe a bucket of cold water. Either of them would do the job. But then she'd have an angry (possibly wet) Callie Torres on her couch and no answers. And the water would ruin her couch. So the only possibility would be to wait.  
Unmuting the Television, Erica turned the volume down to a murmur. Shifting her gaze quickly to Callie to make sure she was still asleep, the Heart surgeon moved to the only free space on her couch next to Callie's head.

The images on the TV played out in what seemed to be slowmotion. Erica's mind was in a fastforward, thinking and moving in way to frantic of a pace as she tried to sort out what she was going to do.  
Forgive Callie? Or not forgive Callie? That was the question.

Both possibilies were very probable. If she forgave the lovely doctor, then they could go back to being whatever they were before. And she'd be left waiting for the enevitable moment when Callie shattered her heart once again. If she didn't forgive Callie, her heart would be broken anyways. Either way didn't end well.

Callie stirred at Erica's side as her hand slid into Erica's lap. Even in her sleep Callie Torres had a remarkable ability to speed up the blonde's heart and halt her brain. The not so peaceful silence consumed Erica once again, this time the only noises being the maddening speech given in the movie and her heart pounding in her ears.

She couldn't take this much longer. She shouldn't have to take it any longer. This bittersweet feeling was killing her. The bitter was very quickly drowning the sweet, and Erica was never a really good swimmer. Ironically, she hated water.

The movie was pulling towards it's end before Callie stirred again. She made a noise of discomfort before adjusting herself on the couch. There was a moment more of silence. "Judy Garland is an amazing actress." Callie's sleepfilled voice spoke over the scripted diolouge and Erica could only nod in agreement. "She's really pretty." And Erica winced as a pang of jealousy coursed through her. Callie never once told her she was pretty.

"Yeah, she is." Erica's brief reply came, and Callie's hand pressed harder into her thigh.  
"When I was a kid, I always wanted to be Dorothy. I wanted a cute blue dress, a small dog and sparkling red shoes. I wanted to skip down the road singing with friends." Callie gave a small laugh. "I went four years in a row dressed as Dorothy at holloween." Erica furrowed her eyebrows. Was it any coincidence that both their favorite characters were mortal enemies?

"What are you doing here, Torres?" Her voice came out weaker than she intended, her throat scratchy and dry. Noticing the light flinch that the brunette offered her, Erica gladly noted that there must of been atleast some bite still in her words.

"We need to talk." She stated simply, her voice wavering gently. Erica smiled slightly, happy she wasn't the only one who was a little nervous as to how this would turn out.  
"There's nothing to talk about." Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to remove Callie's hand from her thigh.

There was shifting going on at her side, but Erica was too afraid to look. Too afraid to catch the other woman's gaze. "We need to talk, Erica." Callie's voice was stronger now, closer. Erica guessed she had probably sat up.

"What are we going to talk about? How you left me standing alone in a battle I could have used you in? For Izzie Stevens, for that matter!" Her voice was raising, it wasn't nessasary, but Erica couldn't stop it. "Or how about the Sloan incident?"

Callie winced. "You said you forgave me for that."

"Yes, Callie. I said I did because I had this crazy notion that we could move on from there. But then you went and did this." Erica sighed, her hands moving up to rub slow circles on her temples. "And... And now I'm doubting if I really know you. And if we can do this."

"You know me, Erica. You know you do! And we can do this." Callie's voice was growing frantic as she gripped onto Erica's arm.

"I thought Callie Torres would never cheat on someone, having been in a failed marriage because of that fact. I thought Callie Torres would have my back when ever I needed it, even if it was rediculous. I thought." Erica kept her words calm, precise and measured, much like her speech on how she didn't make friends easily. Because this was important, and this was the only way she could keep herself from crying. "But I thought wrong."

Erica could feel the vibrations in the couch before she heard a small cry escape past Callie's lips. Her heart broke, but she wouldn't crumble. She couldn't. She was the Wicked Witch of the West. She was someone to be feared, someone to be respected. Not someone who folds everytime the cards got tough. No matter how much she was risking in her next bet. "Don't leave me." Callie pleaded through sobs, her hold on Erica's arm tightening.

Erica stood up. She needed to get away from Callie. She needed to breathe. "What do you want from me, Callie?"

There was a moment of almost silence, the music of the final credits harmonizing with Callie's soft cries filling the room. There was a deep intake of breath. "I-I don't know, Erica. I don't know. You make me feel- you make me feel things that I don't know what to call, and I... I don't know anything anymore. I just know I want you. I want this."

Erica closed her eyes. She knew what needed to happen now. She just didn't want to say it. "I'm sorry, Callie. But I can't. I won't. You hurt me and I won't let it happen again."

Callie sobbed harder, and Erica finally turned to look at her. It hurt. It hurt so much watching Callie double over from the force of her cries. Watching her whole body shake as she rocked back and forth, trying to find any kind of comfort. It hurt so much she wished she could take it all back and kiss the sobbing doctor. But she just couldn't. Because it'd hurt so much more.

"I'm sorry but you have to leave." Erica's voice came out in barely a whisper. Callie let out a strangled cry, whispering to herself broken sentences that Erica couldn't hear or understand. She sobbed into her hands for a moment longer before she took deep breaths in an effort to calm herself. It was a good three more minutes before the ortho-surgeon was able to stand. Facing the steel faced Erica, Callie bit her lip.  
"Can I- can I, you know... Just once more?" She choked out, and watched sullenly as Erica nodded her head slightly. Leaning up on her tiptoes Callie pressed her lips gently against Erica's. She felt the older woman's lips quiver gently and she had to contain another heart wrentching cry. Moving her hand up into blonde locks, Callie's lips parted and she breathed in Erica's soft breath. Holding it in desperately in a last attempt to keep part of the Cardio-goddess with her, Callie reluctantly let herself get pushed gently away.  
And then she turned to leave.

Erica Elizabeth Hahn watched as Callie shot her one last look before closing the door gently behind her, leaving the room once again in an engulfing silence. Sinking back down onto the couch, Erica rested her face in her hands as her heart sunk into impossibly deep depths.

The moral of the Wizard of Oz was that sometimes what you wished for most was with you all along. Dorothy had a way to get home. The Scarecrow his brains, Tinman his heart, and the Lion was coragous after all.

The Wicked Witch had a bucket of water and a painful demise.

**Sorry. But I just don't think Callie should keep getting away with hurting Erica like that. But yes, eventually. They will be together. **


	3. On the Run

**Sorry about the delay. I was in Wisconsin, visiting family. So I thought I'd give you guys the next part of the story that I typed up on my Ipod Notes yet again, in 5 degree weather! **

**On the Run.**

When the morning finally found Erica Hahn curled up in her bed with the covers drawn over her head, the blonde realized that she was in a predicament that she didn't enjoy at all. Her world was crashing down around her and she was desperately trying to cling to it. She was trying to grasp the little pieces, trying to put them back together and hold them up. But the world continued to fall around her feet and she knew that the moment that she leaves her house, she wouldn't be in the same place she was just hours before. She wouldn't be Callie's—whatever she was to Callie. She wouldn't be a heartless surgeon with a very long list of names that she has taken. She wouldn't be the Wicked Witch of the West.

No, she'd be alone. No lover or best friend to speak of. She'd be broken, inside and out, and everyone in that hospital would know that she did, in fact, have a heart. She'd be just like Dorothy Gale. Alone in a world that she was suddenly thrust into, left to find her own way back home.

And Callie Torres was her Tornado.

Callie had lifted the foundations that she had so carefully put up, and rocked her world into a new one. And when the wreckage finally settled, Erica Hahn was left standing alone in a colorful world where not only did she see leaves, she saw so many different colors and objects that she didn't even know existed. And just like that faithful tornado in the Wizard of Oz, Callie Torres was no where to be seen.

And just like Dorothy, Erica Hahn only took a moment to look around her wrecked home before stumbling out into the new world.

It looked exactly the same, and yet nothing like the hospital that she had been working in for nearly a year now. The faces were the same, the whispers that buzzed around the hallways were still present. But this time the looks were directed at her and the hushed words contained her name. And Erica knew that some how, they knew too. They knew that her and Callie had once been something more than just best friends, and now they probably weren't even that anymore.

What bugged her the most, however, was the soft, understanding looks that everyone was giving her. No longer were their faces contorted with fear as they tried to scramble out of her path. No longer did interns gain a growing wet spot in the front of their pants as they met the icy gaze of the doctor. No, they looked more like they were waiting for the right moment to bum rush her into a hug. If that was suppose to make her feel any better about the predicament, then she didn't want to see something that would make her feel worse about it.

Clenching her jaw, Erica Hahn pushed her way through the hallway, past those burning sympathetic looks, and into the nearest On Call room. Locking the door behind her, Erica sunk to her knees. She hated the dank, musky smelling On-Call rooms in this hospital. She hated them even more when she remembered that it was in one of them that Callie had cheated on her. Yet right now, she felt completely safe in the confides of the darkened room. It was here that she could think.

So. Erica Hahn. Think.

She didn't have any surgeries until late that afternoon, and they were minor ones. In fact, all of her surgeries lately had been very minor operations, barely requiring much of her attention. Which was probably a good thing, considering all her mind power was being focused on Callie and their little… situation. If a big emergency came up, would she be able to function? Could she take that scalpel to a man or woman's chest and efficiently fix the problem and get out? Could she still be the Wicked Witch of the West? She was seriously beginning to doubt that. It was a mistake to try and go into work today. And she needed to get _out._

Reopening the door quickly, she ignored the surprised faces that met her as she quickly pushed past them. But she couldn't ignore Callie's pained face that greeted her from the other side of the hall. It was almost as if Erica's vision did a complete funnel and all that she could see was black and Callie's face. The tanned Doctor's mouth opened slowly, then closed, forming silent, pleading words that Erica didn't even want to hear. The loud speaker over head came on calling a doctor's whose name didn't register in the blonde's mind. It could've been her own name and she wouldn't have even noticed.

The loud speaker came back on, the voice on it a little more urgent. "Will Doctor Erica Hahn please report to operating room number 4?" It was her name and she _didn't_ notice! Cursing, she finally realized that the annoying sensation against her leg was actually her pager going off. Turning on her heel, Erica ran through the halls, her shoes slipping once or twice beneath her as she stumbled. It didn't matter though; the eyes that followed her stalked her for a different reason than her almost falling.

Erica Hahn didn't like the new place she was in.

---- later ----

Erica Hahn pushed her scrub cap off her head, closing her eyes as a sigh of defeat escaped her lips. She had been right. A big emergency had come up, and she hadn't been able to remain focused and professional. Worst of all, it hadn't been a man or a woman. It had been a child, a three year old boy with a piece of metal lodged in his chest. A simple procedure and she had messed it up. Nicked the wrong artery as her mind had wandered.

She watched as the nurse left to tell the poor boy's parents, and Erica Hahn realized that she had been wrong about something. She wasn't Dorothy Gale. She didn't come to a wonderful place were little munchkins danced and sung funny tunes. She didn't have a beautiful witch to tell her what to do next, she didn't have any friends to help her along the way. She didn't even have a brick road to follow when things got tough.

Erica Hahn was still the Wicked Witch. She was the Elphaba of the book that she despised. She was a girl that no one liked. But she didn't have any magic. She didn't have a cause.

Erica Hahn wasn't just the Wicked Witch of the West. She was all the flaws of the Witch, bundled up in one big, awkward package.

She was the part of the Witch that lead to the demise of the legendary Villainess.

… So where did that leave her?


End file.
